


Someone who can heal my mind

by luffywhatelse



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Angst, Canon: Fullmetal Alchemist Manga, Canon: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood, Drama, Ed x Winry, EdxWin, F/M, One Shot, Romance, Scars, edward x winry, fma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-07
Updated: 2020-02-07
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:28:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22604746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luffywhatelse/pseuds/luffywhatelse
Summary: Ed has a scar on his abdomen and it's wrong that Winry wants to kiss it... right?It's almost insignificant, lost among the most visible scars, but different from the others.Winry knows it, because Ed sometimes hides it without thinking about it, quickly putting his shirt on.She knows it because it's something - perhaps the only one - he never wanted to talk about.Yet, at that moment, he pretends to sleep and allows her to caress that scar with the back of her fingers. As if it could reveal a secret that he can't really put into words.With his eyes half closed, he sees the light in her gaze change. He feels her shiver slightly and then, suddenly, touch that flap of skin with her lips.
Relationships: Edward Elric/Winry Rockbell
Comments: 1
Kudos: 35





	Someone who can heal my mind

Ed has a scar on his abdomen.

It's almost insignificant, lost among the most visible scars, but different from the others.

Winry knows it, because Ed sometimes hides it without thinking about it, quickly putting his shirt on.

She knows it because it's something - perhaps the only one - he never wanted to talk about.

Yet, at that moment, he pretends to sleep and allows her to caress that scar with the back of her fingers. As if it could reveal a secret that he can't really put into words.

With his eyes half closed, he sees the light in her gaze change. He feels her shiver slightly and then, suddenly, touch that flap of skin with her lips.

Ed has a scar on his abdomen and it's wrong that Winry wants to kiss it... right?

 _Yes it is_.

No wonder, however. She's someone who doesn't know how to be in the world. Who thinks, acts, gets angry, loves with every fiber of her being, much more than she should.

Yet she seems the most right and sensible thing he can grasp.

And indeed, if Winry leaves, his demons immediately come back.

There is no way out. He can't escape. Never.

His guilt is what his personal demons feed on. They know. They know he can't allow himself to be happy. They know that Winry's right and he's wrong.

 _An error_.

The gates of hell open, in its nightmares. They open their jaws and tear everything apart.

 _It's not good, nothing is good. I must accept it once and for all. Give up. It will be less painful, like this_.

Or maybe not.

Ed knows he has a kind of factory defect that makes him different from the others, an anguish that could destroy him.

He doesn't know if it's an anatomical detail but, as long as Ed can remember, there has always been.

Since before human transmutation. Even before his mother died. Something that has always pushed him to go further and, then, to be condemned.

 _Always_.

It's his biggest secret, and he hid it, so well protected by layers of silence and false indifference that, sometimes, he almost forgets he has it.

 _But it exists_.

It's beating, and it's like having a time bomb buried in his brain, in his heart and - _tick tick tick tick_ -, with each breath, closest to exploding.

He cries in vain, and it's like the silent scream of someone who's drowning.

Ed was sure he had learned to live with it, to control it.

But no, he can't, and he could never afford to be weak.

How doesn anyone? The _normal_ ones? Don't they know how dangerous it is? Don't they feel how terrifying it is to let go and entrust your happiness to another human being?

 _Love_. It breaks you down into a mutilated creature. _Love_. For your mother, for your brother.

And, each time, you reattach the pieces together so it can tear you up again.

Irreparable damage. You'll never be the same again.

It would be so simple if what he felt for Winry was still just a game, as it was born.

But it's not, maybe it never was, not even in the early days.

It was already written in Winry's glances, in the small distance between his arm and Ed's, resting on the school desk, in that familiar and intimate warmth emanating from their close hands barely touching each other.

Still, Ed wonders what is worth saving.  
What has always pushed Winry to stay, fight and fix the impossible. To make her heart break, swallow every sip of pain, support him with all the devotion she's capable of.

And, suddenly, the answer becomes so obvious that it hurts.

In the midst of all the shadows crashing on each other, whispering their madness and scratching until his throat bleeds, she's the only voice that makes sense.

Her presence fits perfectly with Ed's absence, fills his voids and silences as if she had never done anything else in life, as if she had been born with that sole purpose: to imprint herself deeply into his soul, where no one's ever been before.

She smoothes out sharp and scary things. She mixes black with light until it looks like a color too. A splendid color that doesn't exist, just as there's no universe outside the one in which the two of them live together.

Ed has a scar on his abdomen and it's wrong that Winry wants to kiss it... right?

No, it's not that bad after all.


End file.
